TV appearence tomorrow & Dymocks Sydney

First off, I’m being interviewed on The Morning show on Channel 7, at 9am on Monday. I assume most of my fans will be at school but you can always set the video.

You never know, it's live TV so I might even make a tit of myself!

Today's signing at Dymocks in George Street was a blast. The queue went right to the back of a very large store, and the girl at the front of the queue had waited for five hours!

However the 'maddest fans of the day' (possibly of the tour so far!) goes to Ella, Lizzie and Isabella. They gave me Vanilla Coke, at least one of them asked me to marry them and they gave the impression that they'd had way too much sugar in their systems.

Anyway thanks to everyone who came and heres a couple of pics, one showing part of the massive queue and one of the mad trio!

Sydney 1994 vs 2008 - Nostalgic ramblings of an old fart...

I’ve now reached Sydney and the half way point of the tour. It’s going really bloody fast!

I last visited Sydney in 1994. Aged 21, it was the first time I’d travelled out of Europe. I arrived feeling shattered after a 24 hour cheapo flight, and checked into a dingy hotel at Kings Cross.

I didn’t have much money or a mobile phone and I remember hunting for a phone box to call my mum and sister to tell them I’d arrived safely.

I saved for a year to pay for that first trip to Australia. I remember going around on busses, trying to find cheap places to eat and not going into certain museums and attractions because I had to make my money last for a one month trip.

In 2008, things are pretty different. I arrived business class from Adelaide, a BMW 750 along with a chauffer turned up to take me to the five star hotel. After a shower I ordered room service and spolied myself with $100 of fancy beer, Waygu steak and king prawns from room service.

It’s cool to think about how the success of CHERUB has changed my life, but seeing the Sydney for the first time in fourteen years makes me feel quite nostalgic for my younger self. No matter how many books I sell, I’ll never be 21 again!

Free stuff and a breif stop in Adelaide

Picture shows the staff at Dymocks Rundle mall all dressed up in their CHERUB kit.

One of the cool things about the tour so far is the freebies that people have been giving me as thank yous for events. So far I’ve got:

1. CHERUB stuff from the publisher – USB key, Ultimate Edition, sleeveless jacket.

2. Goodie bag of books and stationery from Melbourne Writers Festival including a fancy pen, Moleskine notebook and a letter opener.

3. Vanilla Coke and huge box of amazing home made cakes from people at Bookcaffe in Perth where I had a cracking lunch and signed some stock on Thursday.

4. Thermal mug, pens, letter opener and book from All Saints school in Perth

5. Haigh’s chocolates from parent at Adelaide Hummer event (apologies for not remembering who it was from!). Apparently Haighs are one of Adelaide’s most famous exports. All I know is that the chocolate macademia balls are madly addictive!

6. Bottle of wine, more Vanilla coke and more Haigh’s chocolates from Dymocks in Rundle Mall, Adelaide (great event BTW, thanks to the organisers and the fans)

7. Adelaide AFL scarf from a fan at Rundle Mall.

Thanks to everyone who’s been kind enough to give me a gift. I’ve noticed that lots of people have based their gifts on things mentioned on my website, or on this blog. If anyone wants to give me a gift over the rest of the tour, I’d just like to mention that I also like Lexus motorcars, solid gold jewellery and Rolex watches...

Random pics from Perth and Paris!

1. Perth Hummer event - Good fun, nice kids, shame the car didn't have all the fancy gadgets like smoke machines and lazers that the one in Melbourne did.
2. Crowd at the All Saints school event. This was my 2nd longest signing ever. 85 minutes, over 1,500 books! Lots of kids pulled out full sets of books.

3. Girlies after event at Hale school. The school has an amazing theatre, it's more like a posh cinema than a regular school hall!
4. Beyone the glamour.... I seem to be spending a lot of time sitting around in Airport lounges and you know you've done too much flying when you've already eaten every dish on the in flight menu!

And finally, 12,000 miles away (Below) I discovered this picture on the French CHERUB forum. A fan made the CHERUB logo below on a temporary summer beach in Paris:

The lovely fluffy CHERUB fans of Perth

I’m writing this sitting in the lounge at Perth airport, all set for the flight to Adelaide.

I’ve done a couple of school events while I was here, another Hummer ride with another bunch of kids. The best event of all though was the public event at All Saints school.

Almost everyone was a fan and after my talk I signed books for about 80 minutes and they even gave me one of those cups that keeps your coffee warm with the school logo.

There were plenty of full sets, and the chap who was opening books for me estimated that I signed at least 1,500 books in total.

I’ll have to add some pics later because the camera is here but the thingy that connects it to my computer is in my checked luggage.

In the meantime, sit back, relax and imagine pictures of me surrounded by lots of Perth kids holding big mounds of books!

Leaving Melbourne *SNIFFS*

When I was little I always used to cry at the end of our summer caravan holiday and I remember my dad getting annoied (he wasn't big on crying kids!) and saying that if I didn't stop balling we wouldn't go on holiday at all next year.

Even now I get a little twinge of emotion when I check out of a hotel (except the hell hole the Edinburgh Festival put me up in, where people were fighting and lobbing bottles outside my window until 5am).

So, what will I remember about Melbourne?

1. The festival site at Fed Square, no straight lines at all!
2. Janet - my able and very nice Aussie assistant (I get her hairy old boss Chris for the rest of the tour!)
3. Getting driven everywhere in a very swish Lexus. The rear arm rest had more buttons than most cars have in total, though I'm mystified by how many Australians really need a seat warmer button...
4. Strawberry pancakes for breakfast in the Sofitel (soooo good!)
5. My first stretch Hummer ride!
6. Patrick, the kid who chased me around Fed Square patting me on the back and yelling, 'Robert Muchamore rocks! You're my hero!'
7. The green uniformed kids from Trinity Grammar, who almost all seemed to own full sets of CHERUB books. I must have signed about 500 books for them!

Melbourne is probably the best writers festival I've done anywhere, even beating Edinburgh which a lot of people say is the best in the world.

The Age - Newspaper article

Here's the article they made yesterday on The Age newspaper website: LINKY

I'm a self confessed geek, but daggy trainers! Goddamiit they're $200 limited edition Nikes...

Balding 35 year old author gets into a Hummer...

Hectic day... Started off with a photo shoot and an interview for The Age newspaper, another session for 450 kids at the Melbourne Writers Festival, then an appearance on a 'Conversation Hour' program on ABC radio (The radio station download site is HERE (link) but the interview won't be online to listen to until Tuesday next week)

After that I went and signed some stock for two local bookstores. At one I was approached by a woman who said that she wanted to buy one of my books because her son had seen my event and liked the sound of my books.

Actually, that's not strictly true. What she said was, 'It must have been your books he liked, because he couldn't remember your name, but he definitely said it was some bloke with a weird Pommy accent...'

After that it was time to meet the first of the Hummer ride competition winners. It's not often you can say that you whacked your head on the disco ball when getting into a car, but today is one of those days.

Anyway, we spent an hour driving through Melbourne with Cormac, Harrison, Alice, Christian and the other one whose name I've forgotten (sorry!). The car gives tacky a bad name and I'm sure some of the high brow literary authors back at the writers festival would die of heart attacks if they knew what I got up to in the name of literature!

So here's a few pics of the Hummer ride, complete with the kids, the gadgets, drinks cabinets, lasers and best of all the fog machine. They had Led Zeppelin & the B52s on the stereo and the only thing missing was a bubble blowing machine!

Final pic is of competition winner Alice holding the CHERUB bed quilt being made by her mum! When I get back to Pommyland I'm going to ask my mum to make one for me :-)

EDIT - Oddly I met the kid whose name I forgot in the hotel lift this morning. His name is Jeremy!

Blah, blah, blah, OMG Vanilla Coke *EXPLODES*

Still in Melbourne. Another day starting with an nice talk back in the BMW Edge theatre, but today it's for school kids. Then touring around local bookshops signing stock, then a radio interview.

Then about 7pm I get back to my hotel and walk into a Seven Eleven to buy some munchies for my room. There sitting in the fridge at the back is Vanilla Coke. They made it in the UK for about 18 months, but then stopped but out here in Aus they still seem to sell it.

First pic is proof of Vanilla Coke in the wild. Second shows my expression after trying my first mouthful (actully it shows what happens when you pull silly faces while trying to show your publicity person how to use your camera...)

Oh god I've got to get out of bed and do some work

My hotel is dead posh, with lights that come on automatically as you walk around, LCD touch screens that control lights, curtains and great food delivered by room service. Sadly, after two days of bumming around in my swanky room getting over my jet lag I had to get up and do stuff today.

I started off with breakfast in bed (my fave perk of being on tour!). Massive plate of strawberry pancakes, Sunday paper. All very nice until I knocked the jug of maple syrup over the bed and stood up to find the duvet stuck to my arse.

Maple syrup is really hard to wash off your skin, and I'm probably not very popular with housekeeping after the state they found my bed in.




First two events of the Melbourne Writers Festival today. First was just me in the main festival theatre, followed by a big signing. The second was a panel event with two Aussie authors who write quite literary highbrow kids fiction, which is a bit of a contrast to my style of random violence and bum jokes.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who turned up!

Jet lag and goodies and making the Brits jealous!

First day in Australia. Touched down at 4:45 am, my aim is to stay awake until 9:30 tonight so that I can sleep through the night.

Spent most of the day wandering around Melbourne. Lost $3 at the casino, ate the best spag bol ever at a restaurant called Rockpool (made with Japanese Waygu beef, rather than a quarter pound of lean mince from Tesco). It was also the most expensive spag bol I've ever eaten, but it wasn't like I was paying...

Also checked out Federation Square, home of the Melbourne Writers Festival where I'll be doing my four Melbourne events.

I arrived to find them making a display off books and got a site that will have British CHERUB fans drooling, with The General over on the right and that big black hardback in the middle:
Yes, that's the Ultimate Edition of The Recruit and Class A on sale at the festival book shop (no Dark Sun though sadly).

When I got back to my room Hodder Australia had sent me a package of CHERUB goodies made specially for the tour. I'm not sure what they're for exactly yet:


Now I just have to find something that will keep me awake for another three hours. My eyeballs are bright red from exhaustion but I've got to stay up 'til a normal bedtime if my body is going to properly sync with Australian time...

Fifteen ways to kill time during a twenty three flight to Melbourne.

1. Play with the fancy lie flat seat, wonder why you're uncomfortable until the attendant tells you that you've had the massage function switched on for the last two hours.

2. Eat free Toblerones until you feel sick

3. Wonder why they give you a nice comfy seat, but your pillow is the size of a throat lozenge

4. Spill crossiant crumbs down your chest

5. Watch Kung Fu Panda (perfect in flight movie!)

6. Keep accidentally nudging the call button until the flight attendant gets snippy with you

7. Read 183 pages of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer and be surprised that it’s actually very well written.

8.Give your place in the toilet queue to a heavily pregnant woman, then retreat sheepishly to use the toilet downstairs as you hear her hurling violently inside the cubicle and pressing the emergency button

9. Feel smug you’re not the flight attendant who cleaned up after what happened in number eight.

10. Constantly check that you haven’t lost your wallet and passport, even though you just checked two minutes ago

11. Spill black coffee down your chest, making the crossiant crumbs (see 5) soggy and ruining an almost new polo shirt

12. Take a half time shower in the spiffy Qantas lounge at Singapore. Change shirt!

13. Play Tetris on the seat back games console and realise that you still suck after all these years.

14.Type a list of ways to kill time to put on your blog

15. Wiggle your toes

1

Packing...

It's Saturday. Outside it's sunny I can see an aeroplane flying a banner over Emirates Stadium (1-0 up already) for the first game of the season.

I'm running round the house getting my packing done. 8 freshly ironed CHERUB shirts, laptop, camera, mounds of underwear.

Now I've just got to find the $120 of Aussie money I had left over from my last trip down under. I hope they haven't changed the design of the notes since 2001!